True story. A little over a month ago I had that crazy chest compressing anxiety. I was struggling to keep up. No matter how much I got done in one day there was still a mountain of to-do’s waiting for me in the morning. I was building my life, but I was nowhere near living it.
Here’s part of the reason…
In the Spring I started a Life Coach training program + Course Creation Program + another program designed to strengthen my divine feminine (stay with me if I just lost you) + my business was growing + I moved for the 3rd time in 6 months + I have a 1 year-old and 4-year-old + I was dying to experience my new city. All of this to say, I had a lot of things vying for my attention. And while I am so thankful for all of it, I was spread thin.
I was doing it all at once, which really means I was doing none of it particularly well.
But here’s the other part… THE BIG PART
As a result of being enrolled in all of these courses and surrounding myself with wise, wise humans whom I respect and admire, I was receiving counsel by the boatloads. In short, I was getting a lot of advice. Too much advice.
You see... if you collect enough opinions, you’re going to be doing it wrong. Because for every opinion there is an equal and opposite one.
I was moming, coaching, entrepreneuring, eating and loving all wrong. At least that’s what the loud ass voice in my head was yammering on about. It’s hard to feel productive and peaceful in this state no? Enter: anxiety.
So when my friend insisted we take a ladies’ weekend to a place that was near me, so we could a few minutes to pause, I said yes. I also tried to back out at the last minute. Thankfully she didn’t let me.
The weekend away brought up some uncomfy shit, but it was the just the break in chatter I needed to get me to really listen.
And you know what I heard…
There are too many cooks in the kitchen. You’re seeking wisdom, but you’re not listening to the wisest one… YOU.
It’s true, I was valuing other opinions over my own. I did not trust that I knew enough.
I almost laughed at my ridiculousness. No wonder the anxiety. You don’t need to go searching for THE answer. It’s in you. Omg I sound like Yoda, but dooode when you really take a minute to heed this counsel, it’s everything.
Lemme clarify… it’s not like you don’t need to seek outside resources or keep all your problems to yourself. It’s about how you let it all affect you.
Almost like...is it a should or a would.
Instead of navigating through all of the SHOULDS, which just lead to guilt + overwhelm, I thought about how WOULD it feel.
Essentially...How do I want to feel in business + life. Well...I want to feel I free (I work for myself to feel more freedom, not less), Inspired (my fuel- I cannot live without it), Connected ( I want to feel connected to my purpose and people).
So when I’m faced with advice, knowledge, formulas and strategies I think… would this allow me to feel free, connected and inspired?
If the answer is no, then I let it go, with NO GUILT. And son-of-a-gun it’s working. While my to-do list is still just has full, my head is so much lighter.
Let me ask you what three words could you use to help silence the shoulds?
Helping see what’s possible,